Icecream, Random dead people, and crazy nunfans!
by Azure Archer
Summary: Kind of a random little spoof to lighten to mood of Noir.. If you havent finished watching the show, this has MAJOR SPOILERS. You've been warned..


Disclaimer: I own **nothing**.. I thought this would be a nice little one-shot. Enjoy.

A/n: Everyone's a little OOC, but it's supposed to be that way. ..-Cackles-... Oh! Don't read if you haven't finished watching the series. Spoilers!

Mireille Bouquet and her partner Kirika Yumura sat on a bench over looking the beach. Each had originally gotten two scoops of ice-cream on two neatly wrapped cones. The blonde assassin was daintily licking hers while Kirika was already on her second scoop. With one forceful lick, the last scoop of ice-cream fell to the ground and quickly began to melt.

'_Why is it...' _she pondered to herself 'that_ I can kill... without remorse... but...'_ "My ice-cream.." she whimpered quietly. Not one to panic quickly though, Kirika looked around, Noir senses tingling. She glanced at Mireille who hadn't noticed her, too caught up in thought. '_Mm... Strawberry...hm...Strawberry...'_ she paused mid-lick however when the brunette shouted for her to look.

While Mireille turned to the direction her partner had pointed to, Kirika focused all her senses on the remaining ice-cream. '_Focus...Focus... I am... the true noir. I can do this... no sweat...'_ Then.. Using all her true noir-ish powers, the brunette assassin swapped her empty cone with Mireille's full one. "I don't see anything..."

"Oh... it must've been a seagull..." Kirika muttered her reply in an apologetic tone and began to lick her new ice-cream cone. "My..." looking down, the blonde noticed a small melted puddle of ice-cream."It fell..." pouting, Mireille began to nibble at her cone. _'Heh heh heh heh...'_

After the pair finished eating, and had wisely waited half an hour, Mireille lied down to tan while Kirika decided floating in her new tube would be best.

She had been leisurely floating around when all of a sudden; the brunette was pulled under water. "Ahh!" "Kirika!" Mireille screamed and began to run towards her friend. Diving in she raced to the scene, only to see Kirika rising again from the ocean depths. She rose above the surface with a shocked look on her face... on the shoulders of Chloe.

"Chloe!" ..."Chloe!" the two said in unison, one devastated, the other overjoyed. A/n: Guess who! Mwuehe. "I thought I killed you!" Kirika squeaked uncharacteristically. "With a miniature tea fork...? Seriously now... did the writers hate me that much? Damn them all... You know, when I get my hands on them... But anyway! Yes!" she said and set Kirika back in the water and composed herself.

"You and I are the true Noir. Born and raised in the nest of the soldats.. The two of us exhibited the greatest aptitudes as assassins… The Soldats aren't your enemy. The Soldats is the place you belong. You lost your memory but think... Why else would you look at me so...?"

An awkward silence filled the area. "Sooo... you wanna come back to the Manor with me?" the violet haired woman asked casually, knowing her victory was obvious. "Why would she!" Mireille asked harshly and glanced at her partner... The partner who was currently checking out her enemy. "No... Kirika?"

Chloe was currently clad in a dark green bikini and Kirika just kept starring. "Kirika!" Mireille shouted now. "Oh.." the brunette blinked and came out of her trance. "Am I...? Am I...?" Kirika mumbled to herself. Then, another form appeared under the surface of the water. Altena then rose from the ocean waters, dressed in scuba gear, and smiled sweetly.

"Mistress!" two of the trio shouted in surprise and admiration. '_...Mistress...?' _Mireille sweat dropped. "You too?" the confused brunette asked. "Come with us... Kirika. Train with Chloe and become the completed version of the true noir... Your destiny. Come..."

Falling back into that oh-so-familiar trance, Kirika began to stare at Chloe's chest again. A few moments later, she nodded eyes in a daze. "Nooo! Kirika!" Mireille shouted as the three hopped on the brunette's floaty tube and sailed away quickly. All alone, the blonde sighed.

Randomly, there came a tapping on her shoulder. It was of all people, Silvana Gleone. "S-Silvana...!" Mireille asked, eyes wide. She paused and blinked for a few seconds. "But… I killed … But.."

"But…?" Silvana asked, blinking her eyelashes seductively and offered the blonde a miniature tea spoon. Mireille gasped then sighed and finally shrugged, taking the spoon. "Whatever.." The lavender haired woman squeaked in joy and began dragging Mireille around.

…

Soon enough the pair had managed to sneak onboard of a giant ship.

"Even God himself couldn't sink this ship!" a random passenger yelled to another who nodded in agreement. Mireille raised one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows and pondered aloud, "This all seems… oddly familiar but.. I cant place a finger on it.."

"There!" Silvana shouted to a large storage room and led Mireille into it. "So many cars…." The blonde assassin muttered in awe while the other woman found an unlocked car.

"Kehehehehehe."

-Pan scene around room then back to car. A pale hand slams against a now steam filled car and quickly slides down-

…

"Oh Silvana, It's beautiful.." Mireille sighed at the view from the deck of the large ship. After their interesting adventure, they had come to see the night sky.. Suddenly, the ship shook violently. "Nooo! I'm too young to die!" screamed a wrinkled old passenger as he jumped off the side of the monstrous ship.

Five minutes later, it proceeded to break in half and sink. "NOO! SILVANA! I'LL NEVER LET GO!" Mireille cried as she let go of the lavender haired woman and died of hypothermia. "But I'm still aliiiiiive……" were the last words of Silvana as she sank to the depths of the ocean floor and died as well.

…

Back at the Manor, the couple of True Noir were lying down in the grape vineyards. Chloe fed the brunette grapes and sighed gaily. Kirika smirked to herself. "I love being the True Noir…" She spoke up in her naturally sexy voice… causing Chloe to sigh again and blush furiously.

Multiple sighs could be heard throughout the vineyards. "Amazing.." one Noir nun sighed to the other from their hiding spots. "…So very amazing…" came the breathless reply.

…And so Chloe and Kirika lived on forever in peace getting praised daily by obsessive fan-nuns. They lived their Noir lives happily… and never saw Mireille ever again.

Finis!

Can you tell I'm a major C/K shipper? No offense to you other M/K fans . I hope you liked it:)


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